Don't Let Marijuana Take Your Teen!

There is much controversy about marijuana. Some people pose questions as to whether it should be legalized or how it should be used. There are differences in opinion as to whether marijuana is a plant or a drug. There is also the argument surrounding marijuana's contribution as being the "gateway" drug, implying that it leads to heavier drugs and drug abuse. Regardless of your "personal" feelings surrounding marijuana use--DON'T discount your teenager's marijuana use as being a low priority. STOP your teen from using marijuana, because it will effect his or her life AND future!

I think parents would be very surprised to know what goes on in their teenagers daily life. The working class two-parent or single parent household, can often times get so engrossed in a busy lifestyle, that they fail to notice the obvious signs of marijuana use in their own children. Some people may turn a blind eye, thinking that their child would "never" do such a thing. Brace yourselves parents, because it CAN happen to your child. If it does--make sure you are prepared. Do whatever you can to STOP your child from using marijuana!

Parents, don't blame yourselves, if you find that your teen is using marijuana. Often times, there is a reason for your child's marijuana usage. Marijuana is just another means of escaping real life. Post-traumatic stress, bi-polar disorder and internal pain, to mention a few, make marijuana use a common means of escaping the mind.

If you notice your teen has: lost interest in things he or she once found entertaining; failing grades; older or different friends; drawing marijuana symbols; interest in music with marijuana lyrics; or anything pertaining to or supporting marijuana use, please take notice and take action!

As a parent, you can contact your child's school counselor. The school counselor can direct you to a counseling agency that helps combat your child's marijuana use. Sometimes the school will have a discreet drug program that your child can attend. As a final note, if you haven't been involved in your child's school or education, START NOW & MAKE TIME!

Don't let your children fail themselves.

My Father's Hand

You were very young
When you passed on
You left us way too soon!

You missed your grandson,
Your very first
You called him “little dude”

I felt such anger
For years and years
I hated you for many things!

I did forgive you
I loved you again
I imagine you with wings!

I forgot how much
You meant to me
Your impact on my life!

You picked me up
You set me straight
Your words cut like a knife!

You made me think
You never gave up
You pushed me to excel.

You were hard on me
Your firstborn child
I did nothing but rebel!

We can’t take back
The things we did
The ways we hurt each other!

To love is to forgive
To forgive is to love
I’m glad you were my father!

I need you now
You know the reasons
Because I spoke to you last night.

Crying as I called for you
I felt your hand in mine
I know you’ll show yourself again…when the time is right!

If Only...

If only you could feel my love
each time you hold me tight.
The rhythmic beating of my heart
tells me this is right.

Close to you, I lay and pray
“don’t let this moment go!”
Your eyes profound, I’m at your mercy,
mesmerized how they glow.

Every touch of your gentle hand
enraptures through my core.
Lips so soft and so alluring
I need you so much more.

If only you could see me
and know that I was real.
Let yourself succumb to what
would be the real deal.

Deborah Tollefson 2/9/09

Love IS Visually Impaired – Somebody Give Me a Cane and Teach Me Braille!

Love IS Visually Impaired – Somebody Give Me a Cane and Teach Me Braille!
Yes, it is true; love is blind! Sometimes it is so blind, that in the end you may ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” or “Why did I let this relationship go on so long?” Your friends may even question your relationship and there always seems to be a rational explanation with these words, “because I love him/her.”

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

“What’s love got to do with it? Tina Turner had an answer to that question in her lyrics that followed. “What’s love but a second hand emotion?” I think that if anyone would know about “blind love,” it would be Tina Turner and her marriage to Ike Turner. She spent more time in an unhealthy relationship and raising a family to the best of her ability. Eventually, she had enough and began to “see” things clearly. With courage, she left the abusive relationship for good. How many Ike Turners’ do we know or have we been with? Not all Ike Turners’ physically abuse their partner. Some people emotionally abuse their partner and both are equally unhealthy.

A Relationship Should Be 50/50 – Not 99 Cents And A Penny

Sometimes you may feel so “in love” with your partner that you fail to see the reality of the relationship, especially if it is an abusive one. It may happen so subtly and so slowly that you become a victim to your own blindness. Eventually you will find yourself unhappy, broken-hearted, and left with nothing but a low self-esteem.

If you find yourself giving more than you are receiving, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship. If you see any signs of abuse, whether it be physical or emotional—get out of that relationship as soon as you can! Do not waste your time with someone who is incapable of love and do not deceive yourself by thinking that person will change. Keep in mind that the abusers are master manipulators. They can only manipulate you if you let them.

A Good Friend Once Said, “Go with your gut feeling and not with your heart.”

“Go with your gut feeling and not with your heart.” Perhaps that is what Tina Turner meant with the lyrics “What’s love but a second hand emotion?” Is the “gut feeling” the primary emotion? Where does the “gut feeling” come from? Perhaps it is our intellect. The mind has sight and control over the entire human body. The basic instincts come from our brains, not our hearts. Therefore, if something in your relationship does not feel right, trust your mind and not the visually impaired heart.

Do Not Let One Bad Apple Spoil The Bunch!

What is almost as bad as an unhealthy relationship is living with bitterness. Bitterness is not a good emotion. Not only is bitterness an all-consuming emotion, but you will carry it with you into your next relationship. This is not fair to the other person, nor is it fair to you. That is why it is so important to forgive and let go of any hateful feelings, you may have, towards the abuser and towards yourself. Why should you forgive yourself? At the end of the relationship, when the love-blinders come off, you may have some self-regrets.


Live And Learn And Love Again

I am not saying that it is easy to get out and over an abusive relationship. In fact, it takes a lot of courage and support. It takes time to heal, grieve, and time to find yourself again. Just because you forgive somebody, does not mean that you have to forget what the abuser has done. What you can do is learn from the mistakes and try not to make the same mistake twice. When you are ready, you can find love again…perhaps next time you will have 20/20 vision!

Sometimes The Media Goes Too Far!

There are times when famous people suffer terrible losses. Not so long ago, it was Anna Nicole Smith, who lost her son. Shortly thereafter, Anna Nicole Smith passed away. Recently Kelly Preston and John Travolta lost their only son, and in both cases, the media crossed certain boundaries and exploited these public figures as if they have no feelings. To desensitize the masses even further, the photos attached to the articles, are usually not of grieving celebrities, but of happy, smiling celebrities. Therefore, the public begins to see these celebrities as objects instead of “ordinary people,” making it “okay” to invade their privacy.

The media goes so far as to give hourly accounts to the public as to the happenings of these celebrities. In the death of Jett Travolta, the media gives most of the credit to “John Travolta” rather than “Kelly Preston.” Why is that? Perhaps it is because the name “John Travolta” is a better seller than the name “Kelly Preston.” The mere mention of the name captures the audience’s attention. On the other hand, was it not Kelly Preston, who carried her son for nine-months and went through the pain of giving birth? Yet she gets secondary credit! It is a shame how the media uses manipulative tactics in order to sell a story.

Losing a Child

To lose a child is one of the worst things a person can go through in life. Until a person experiences that type of loss first hand, he or she cannot understand the immense pain and suffering a family goes through. Additionally, the loss of a child puts an enormous amount of stress on a marriage. Sometimes a marriage cannot handle the tension and the couple end up divorced, as a result. Not only does this happen with normal, everyday people; it also happens to celebrities as well.


Celebrities Are People Too!

Just because someone is famous does not mean he or she is immune to emotions. Most likely, their emotions are probably intensified, because they are famous. When tragic things happen to regular people, their support system is usually friends and relatives. On occasion and sometimes for years to come, a reminder of the tragic event will happen and may trigger Post Traumatic Stress.

Nobody likes to remember a tragic event or re-live the traumatic experience all over again. A celebrity will probably endure the tragic memories for years to come, because of the media exposure they receive. Furthermore, it is times like these, when famous people suffer tragedies that the media ought to take a step back and give them privacy; rather than, taking fifty steps forward and exploiting their lives for possible sales or entertainment.


The Public and the Fans

Without public interest, the media is not empowered. When a family member dies, the last thing that family wants to hear is negative opinions. In the case of Jett Travolta, some of the public criticized the religion, parenting skills, among other minor shortcomings, as contributing factors towards his death. Please understand that despite the fact that this young man had celebrities as parents, they are human just like the rest of us. They grieve just like the rest of us. They hurt just like the rest of us. Let them mourn in peace. It is the least that the “fans” can do for their favorite celebrities!

The Miracles of Life

My nephew, James, was born on 12/28/2008. He was two-weeks overdue and had a rough time entering this world! Additionally, my family has not had a baby around for quite some time.

I find myself staring at this beautiful baby boy. I look at his eyes, his facial features, his hair, his little body, and his fingers and toes. I am completely captivated by the creation of life. The final outcome (the baby) appears so simple; however, reproduction is such a complex process.

A successful pregnancy is a blessing and a united family a miracle. Some people rarely get to experience one, the other, or both. I am happy for my brother, his significant other, and our new addition to our family.

I LOVE my baby James!!

Deb Tollefson

My New Year's Resolution for 2009

1. I will re-create my goals and meet them.

2. I will not let anyone or anything stand in my way of succeeding or reaching my goals.

3. I will not accept unjustifiable criticism by others.

4. I will focus on positive influences in my life and abandon the burdens.

5. I will try to speak AND understand “Teenage Boy” language.

6. I will let go of all negativity from the past and face the future with dignity.

7. I have mourned long enough, 2009 is my year to rise back to the top and succeed!