Love IS Visually Impaired – Somebody Give Me a Cane and Teach Me Braille!

Love IS Visually Impaired – Somebody Give Me a Cane and Teach Me Braille!
Yes, it is true; love is blind! Sometimes it is so blind, that in the end you may ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” or “Why did I let this relationship go on so long?” Your friends may even question your relationship and there always seems to be a rational explanation with these words, “because I love him/her.”

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

“What’s love got to do with it? Tina Turner had an answer to that question in her lyrics that followed. “What’s love but a second hand emotion?” I think that if anyone would know about “blind love,” it would be Tina Turner and her marriage to Ike Turner. She spent more time in an unhealthy relationship and raising a family to the best of her ability. Eventually, she had enough and began to “see” things clearly. With courage, she left the abusive relationship for good. How many Ike Turners’ do we know or have we been with? Not all Ike Turners’ physically abuse their partner. Some people emotionally abuse their partner and both are equally unhealthy.

A Relationship Should Be 50/50 – Not 99 Cents And A Penny

Sometimes you may feel so “in love” with your partner that you fail to see the reality of the relationship, especially if it is an abusive one. It may happen so subtly and so slowly that you become a victim to your own blindness. Eventually you will find yourself unhappy, broken-hearted, and left with nothing but a low self-esteem.

If you find yourself giving more than you are receiving, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship. If you see any signs of abuse, whether it be physical or emotional—get out of that relationship as soon as you can! Do not waste your time with someone who is incapable of love and do not deceive yourself by thinking that person will change. Keep in mind that the abusers are master manipulators. They can only manipulate you if you let them.

A Good Friend Once Said, “Go with your gut feeling and not with your heart.”

“Go with your gut feeling and not with your heart.” Perhaps that is what Tina Turner meant with the lyrics “What’s love but a second hand emotion?” Is the “gut feeling” the primary emotion? Where does the “gut feeling” come from? Perhaps it is our intellect. The mind has sight and control over the entire human body. The basic instincts come from our brains, not our hearts. Therefore, if something in your relationship does not feel right, trust your mind and not the visually impaired heart.

Do Not Let One Bad Apple Spoil The Bunch!

What is almost as bad as an unhealthy relationship is living with bitterness. Bitterness is not a good emotion. Not only is bitterness an all-consuming emotion, but you will carry it with you into your next relationship. This is not fair to the other person, nor is it fair to you. That is why it is so important to forgive and let go of any hateful feelings, you may have, towards the abuser and towards yourself. Why should you forgive yourself? At the end of the relationship, when the love-blinders come off, you may have some self-regrets.


Live And Learn And Love Again

I am not saying that it is easy to get out and over an abusive relationship. In fact, it takes a lot of courage and support. It takes time to heal, grieve, and time to find yourself again. Just because you forgive somebody, does not mean that you have to forget what the abuser has done. What you can do is learn from the mistakes and try not to make the same mistake twice. When you are ready, you can find love again…perhaps next time you will have 20/20 vision!

Sometimes The Media Goes Too Far!

There are times when famous people suffer terrible losses. Not so long ago, it was Anna Nicole Smith, who lost her son. Shortly thereafter, Anna Nicole Smith passed away. Recently Kelly Preston and John Travolta lost their only son, and in both cases, the media crossed certain boundaries and exploited these public figures as if they have no feelings. To desensitize the masses even further, the photos attached to the articles, are usually not of grieving celebrities, but of happy, smiling celebrities. Therefore, the public begins to see these celebrities as objects instead of “ordinary people,” making it “okay” to invade their privacy.

The media goes so far as to give hourly accounts to the public as to the happenings of these celebrities. In the death of Jett Travolta, the media gives most of the credit to “John Travolta” rather than “Kelly Preston.” Why is that? Perhaps it is because the name “John Travolta” is a better seller than the name “Kelly Preston.” The mere mention of the name captures the audience’s attention. On the other hand, was it not Kelly Preston, who carried her son for nine-months and went through the pain of giving birth? Yet she gets secondary credit! It is a shame how the media uses manipulative tactics in order to sell a story.

Losing a Child

To lose a child is one of the worst things a person can go through in life. Until a person experiences that type of loss first hand, he or she cannot understand the immense pain and suffering a family goes through. Additionally, the loss of a child puts an enormous amount of stress on a marriage. Sometimes a marriage cannot handle the tension and the couple end up divorced, as a result. Not only does this happen with normal, everyday people; it also happens to celebrities as well.


Celebrities Are People Too!

Just because someone is famous does not mean he or she is immune to emotions. Most likely, their emotions are probably intensified, because they are famous. When tragic things happen to regular people, their support system is usually friends and relatives. On occasion and sometimes for years to come, a reminder of the tragic event will happen and may trigger Post Traumatic Stress.

Nobody likes to remember a tragic event or re-live the traumatic experience all over again. A celebrity will probably endure the tragic memories for years to come, because of the media exposure they receive. Furthermore, it is times like these, when famous people suffer tragedies that the media ought to take a step back and give them privacy; rather than, taking fifty steps forward and exploiting their lives for possible sales or entertainment.


The Public and the Fans

Without public interest, the media is not empowered. When a family member dies, the last thing that family wants to hear is negative opinions. In the case of Jett Travolta, some of the public criticized the religion, parenting skills, among other minor shortcomings, as contributing factors towards his death. Please understand that despite the fact that this young man had celebrities as parents, they are human just like the rest of us. They grieve just like the rest of us. They hurt just like the rest of us. Let them mourn in peace. It is the least that the “fans” can do for their favorite celebrities!

The Miracles of Life

My nephew, James, was born on 12/28/2008. He was two-weeks overdue and had a rough time entering this world! Additionally, my family has not had a baby around for quite some time.

I find myself staring at this beautiful baby boy. I look at his eyes, his facial features, his hair, his little body, and his fingers and toes. I am completely captivated by the creation of life. The final outcome (the baby) appears so simple; however, reproduction is such a complex process.

A successful pregnancy is a blessing and a united family a miracle. Some people rarely get to experience one, the other, or both. I am happy for my brother, his significant other, and our new addition to our family.

I LOVE my baby James!!

Deb Tollefson